One Tribe Day, Year to Year

Weeks later this continues to bother me; for my own peace of mind I'll say what I think, even if I don't know yet to whom I should be saying it.

I've talked to another sub about it, and her advice was to tell anyone who might listen how much I liked it, whatever part of it was any good, and say nothing about the rest of it, tacitly condemning it by comparison. I think that's probably the way to go. So I'll pass over the absence of any discussion of suicide, even to name the kids who were gone, or of pathologies or treatment options, even a hotline number to call; the absence of a significant portion of the student body, along with the teacher I subbed for, who planned to be out that day at least a week in advance, since that's when I picked up the job; expecting to teach English, I showed up to be given a red t-shirt and coached on manifesting cheerfulness about the full-day activity I had stumbled into, a good day for subs to be in the building, I was assured vociferously by the secretary and two administrators who overheard me express some confusion as to why their teacher had seemingly chosen not to be there that day of all days (had she taught one of the suicides? battled with depression herself or known someone who had? simply felt it would be a good day to take off, since no work would be missed, and so many students would be staying home?) and how awkward this was for me--clearly, the wrong thing to say; or how the creepiness and cringe-worthiness just escalated from there, as even the students who were present complained to one another that they should have stayed home; how we gathered to admire the mural in the new cafeteria and have it described for us by a former teacher of Native descent (the school mascot is the Indians, hence, One Tribe Day), who then delivered a further motivational speech in the gym, followed by whoosh-passing and Icelandic foot-tag led by the school counselor, small group discussions made up of icebreaker games, a cross the line activity after lunch which was the closest thing to substantive discussion of at-risk behaviors, though root causes were nowhere questioned, and a Power 2 the Poetry concert back in the gym, followed by the Waka Waka dance to close things out. There are videos of me out there, I guess for use in next year's slide show or to present to district administrators, me standing on the edge of the circle in my red shirt, covering my ears from the noise, feeling awful for the waste of the school day and the barefaced lie that this was education, or any sort of meaningful response to the despair of those kids. I'm not sure how to give this feedback in a constructive way, so I'll keep it to myself.

What I liked about the day was hearing the student speakers: the one who sang a song she'd written, and the three who testified to their experiences of bullying, ostracism, depression, were incredibly moving. The student who led the small group discussion was wonderful, and elicited what seemed like honest responses, within the range of the questions on her list to ask, from the randomly mixed group. "What's your favorite candy? What's your least favorite class?" They all seemed like they could dig into a real discussion, given the chance.

Of course, that was what the day seemed calculated to prevent. The claim that the activities were put together with student input might have been true, but it seemed a little hollow given the absence rate. Maybe the Inlander will run a piece about it, following up this year or next to their coverage from last spring; maybe the Spokesman Review will have further insights into what ails the public school system. I'm no journalist, of course, just a sub, just happy to be here.