To begin with:
I can appreciate how hard it was for everyone to transfer to online instruction in the midst of a pandemic. That aspect of the whole experience, frankly, was a godsend, saved us all a ton of time.
Same goes for the elimination of the final project, the edTPA. From what I understand, that was out of a concern for equity as much as due to COVID. Like everything ed-, edTPA is property of Pearson, and it costs districts and individuals money, which might also have played into the decision to pass on it. But that's a different kettle of fish for frying another day.
The instructors and staff were doing their best at EWU, just as teachers and administrators were doing at all levels of public schooling. The SPS mentor teacher I was eventually placed with, Mr Anderson, was a brick. All my professors seemed to genuinely care about those of us in the T2T program and to believe their work, training up a new cohort of teachers, mattered.
My mentor teacher happened to have the same name as the astronaut honored with a statue downtown, Michael Anderson |
So I don't think there was anything uniquely bad about my experience last year. If anything, I had it about as streamlined as possible. Some of that was by design, taking advantage of the Transition to Teaching route at the local university rather than MAT or BA options, and a lot of it was mercifully good luck.
And I did get a job at the end of it. A better one than I could have hoped for. The stars aligned; the alternative high school down the street needed a math teacher, and with my mentorship in the math class and the rest of my certification squared away, I finally qualified for it. Aside from the application and interview, all I had to do was pass a multiple choice NES math test. It was five hours long, covering everything from algebra through calc and statistics. I spent a few weeks studying and sat for the exam one Saturday morning, clicking my way through on a computer in a dreary office building in the Valley, having paid Pearson $95 for the privilege, but I passed on the first try, thank goodness.
There. With all that for preface--underlining again that it was ultimately well worth it, after four years of substitute teaching, to finally, by hook or by crook, do what the state bid to earn the crummy cert--the teaching program was even more dismal than I dreaded.
Dark times in the T2T
Just how bad it was going to be, I sort of knew all along, or at least had some sense. Why else put it off so long? Some of that was intuitive: my atavistic distrust of bureaucratic processes of education. Animating my decision to finally go into the program was that same mixture of love of learning and dislike of school that drives this long-running project of imagining a better way to teach and learn, these Notes for a New School. Alongside my more biased premonitions against teacher training in general, though, were some that were more well-founded and specific. Subbing long-term in a co-taught fourth grade class a few springs back, I worked alongside a student-teacher who was completing her coursework and practicum in the same T2T program. She was practically losing her mind.
Hating, despising the thought of "becoming a teacher" before, and now fearing the toll it would take on me, I sent in all my paperwork and fees and showed up for the first meeting. I kept my camera off so no one, including me, would have to see my face, my self-hate, my complicity, my bad-faith first-day-of-school excitement.
More than ever I understood why the fundamental task of public school is not to educate so much as to provide for people's yearning for community, security, and hope, because it was that yearning which washed over me in those early days. To care for and serve the social and emotional needs of others, SEL as it's now called, is certainly nothing that we can learn to do in a class meeting, online or in-person, but consists in the realization of shared vulnerability. And throughout our meetings, I missed most of all the time together in which to share that sense of personhood. We talked about it, but we never actually lived it. At no point was there time to get to know anyone.
This despite the quantity of time we had slated for us to be there, meted and measured out by the program requirements. And because that was all any of it was, so many requirements on our time, one of the first things they told us to do was to keep a record of what we did each day. Eventually we'd begin filling out time sheets with daily reflections, once we were placed in a mentor classroom, so we should get in the habit.
Here, lightly edited, is mine. From what I understand, programs like this are required to undergo a review periodically to maintain their certification--that is, their ability to "recommend" candidates for teaching certification. Whether the student's real experience gets taken into consideration, or just the nominal supposition of what that experience must be as an aggregate of all the boxes ticked, I have no idea, but perhaps this evidence would be of interest to box-tickers somewhere. For the prospective student with a high tolerance for boredom, or for anyone that wants to see how the teaching cert sausage gets made, read on.
Blog log
Mon 6/22 all day first class session
"No one wants to sit here for 6 hours," says one of the staff
(actually it was 8)
Why assessment is the first course, because all teachers need it
The irony of this assessment spiral, or better infinite regress, seemed lost on all concerned
Office hours, no textbook
Skunk smell at your place?
Thanks for sharing
Iterative disposition "this is different in the real class"
I can't remember now what that means, or if it meant anythingCanvas, panopto
Which proved to be terrible, clunky, no doubt very expensive platformsWe signed up for presentation topics. Here's mine.
ED308
Just like we'd do with our students in a social studies class, we made our own little...
Bill of rights
We all have the right to:
■ to learn from others who care about and respect each individual in our classroom.
■ be safe.
■ ask specific and relevant questions.
■ have some measure of choice with regard to at least some of the topics we will study and the assignments we will complete.
■ feel hurt or insecure but not the right to hurt others.
■ discuss feelings, actions and concerns in a nurturing environment and to be called in or call others in when required for personal growth.
■ feel uncomfortable and uncertain as both are necessary to confront cultural privilege and grow as a culturally competent person. etc
Not that we'd yet taught them what that was, or the Constitution it's appended to. The opportunity to talk about rights and responsibilities, at least, would be there
The irony of teaching where you were taught?
I guess at least one of the instructors was an EWU grad. Another one of those spirals...
Something positive today? Is that a question:)
The coordinator's affect--she of the skunk--was always just so off. I literally couldn't tell if she was asking for one positive thing out of a plethora, or if she was wondering if there were any positive takeaways at all.
A good way to do online discussion? Group turned to individual. No sped presentation
So they were still figuring it out. Most group work went away.
Rural superintendent grant?
Daily reflection for edtpa?
No synchronous classes at all, aside front the introductory session with all teachers…
Alas, this proved to be false.
Getting started links?
Communication, like everything, was slow, but eventually got done
6/23
Long discussion board intros
Like the community college courses I took online back in high school, our main interaction was over discussion boards. We had to make a post and reply to a couple of others for most assignments.
6/24
Paying tuition and fees for tech, buildings, gyms? Doing the assessment lessons, blog, but not the long-term project yet. Banking used without reference to Freire?
Disappointing as it may be to culture warriors out there, we never talked about postmodernism or democracy, much less Critical Race Theory.
6/25
Readings for classroom management and paper tigers documentary, reading class, paper on literacy identity
The Paper Tigers movie was one of the more interesting things we discussed, by far, dealing with an alternative high school and those socio-economic contexts which have become all important in explaining students' emotional well-being.
6/26
ELL class
6/27
Replies to discussion boards, long-term assignments, peer reviews
6/28
Db cont, lesson plans, housekeeping
6/29
Day off
6/30
Reading class
7/1
Peer review blogs
Right, they had us make our own blogs. I wonder if anyone kept theirs going after the class ended?
7/2
Management class, remaining lectures, starting assignments
7/3
Assignments…
7/4
Holiday
7/5
Db responses
7/6
Db cont. Checking grades
7/7
Para ed due jul 17, assessment
7/8
Blog reviews, reading for management
7/9
Db posts
7/10
Assignments, research paper
7/11
Db
7/12
Management drafts
7/13
Assessment
7/14
Lesson plan, data for para
7/15
Blog reviews, db, disposition, para
7/16
Db, choice project,
7/17
Journals, book talk
7/18-23
Finishing up classes’ final projects, re-submit lesson plan, a couple days off
7/24
Start sped, db
7/25
Dbs
7/26
Portfolio draft, paper draft, etc.
7/27
Sped essay (late)
7/28
Reflection on calm lesson (forgot about), start letter
Professionalism, yet profane bleeped out quotes about how no one has time for bingo?
7/29
Peer comments, letter
7/30
Portfolio
7/31 day off
8/1
Sped … working on assignments two or three days per week
8/16
Final presentation, discussions
8/17
Meeting about fall, more info coming out after 8/24? Follow up with Spokane HR about mentor placement? Another in Sept on competencies? Documentation of proficiency (allowing resubmissions) so long-form lesson plan a point of growth mindset, then eventually allowing the short form? Email about pre-residency and fingerprint OSPI? Tests / SAT or ACT scores? Timesheets due each week? Experience in Montana on TV courses with two or three classmates…
So, a meeting to go over the next round of boxes to check off, and to hear about another meeting we'd have soon. With a brief recollection of good old days. These competencies, we would learn, were the ultimate in checking off boxes
9/21
Meeting about fall semester, all it was for the first 45 min was having people tell how their experience was so far, asking about placements, and a blanket statement about difficulties. Another hour in, just a slide on the classes. Email teacher of early course. Seeking a math tutor to homeschool grandkids. Email if no message about software within a week. [The assistant coordinator, name redacted] left? Prefer email, times for call. Mentor teacher training? Fwd SAT scores? Adding endorsements? 540 clinical hours incl student teaching - emergency provisions through Jun 2021 - what counts as clinical?
9/24
First class [of the fall semester]--email at 5:30 for 6PM start. Flip grid audio not working. Internet went out 15 min in
9/25
Safe schools training for SPS - logged as hours. Emailing instructors in canvas, [coordinator] helping.
This email system within the online platform was fun, nesting people within courses, rather than just letting you type their name.
9/27
Discussion boards for Social Studies, video from thurs. Past experience for clinical hours? Sept 8 trainings?
No, alas, past experience would not count towards the hours I had to accrue. I asked about this in every way I possibly could, of everyone I could think to ask, to no avail.
9/28-29
Db. Contact with the coordinator for alternative placement. Signing up for pearson tests Jan 11
9/30
ELA assignments
10/1
Missing disposition form? class 6-8, 8:15 alt placement for mentors meeting?
10/5
Group zoom mtg for inquiry project
10/7
Did my part
10/8
Alt placement mtg CommonCore app? Likely EdTpa could be changed by governor action? Show care, but that every little thing is not the end of the world. Ela mtg poetry make own charts writing process
As you may be able to glean, there was a while here where I was in limbo as to whether I would get placed with a mentor teacher so as to be able to complete the required 540 hours under their supervision. I must have felt adequately prepared to fill out my timesheets when and if such a placement should occur, so I quit keeping a record in the interim. They had those of us in this boat--and there were 7 or 8, I want to say--had to do hilariously badly macgyvered replacements for mentorship, like watching recordings and writing about them, or "teaching" virtual students on a paid-for program called mursion.
2/9
First day with placement, set up over the past weekend. 8:30-11:50
From what I understand, the only reason I finally did get a mentor was because another student in the cohort had reached out to her children's teachers around the district since she needed a placement, too. She wanted to teach Kindergarten, though, and finally got placed accordingly, so the middle school math teacher who responded to her call, thankfully, fell to me.
2/10
First day with 6th grades, staff mtg, 8:30-1:30
2/11
8:30-10
2/12
8:30-1 including lesson planning mtg
2/15
President’s day
I wonder: is the problem of burn out best addressed by flashing a W-2, as the art teacher did? The professionalism paradox, stymied by the person. The legality of the disposition form: feedback and attitude.
For the duration of the program, I bit my tongue so as not to be called out for any fault in my "disposition," and kept noticing the ways large and small that this world of teacher training treats us as anything but "professionals"
2/16
Teaching des farm, prep, again with more student time, Mtg w Michael [and coordinators]; dist training indigenous bias, drop in hours. Make videos?
2/17
Observation. Full day.
2/18
Teaching SCC. Contacting ELA and Science teachers
2/19
Normal classes. Tutoring hours after.
2/22
Final week online. Building tours in classes. Brainstorming favorite activities. Planning student teaching
2/23
Writing lesson for Fri, teaching plan, dates for observations, extracurriculars
2/24
Games to close out online learning, meeting with ELA/Social Studies teacher, tour group.
Final math class, in which the instructor spent time answering her emails while we were reading
Which was totally understandable. She was also the district math coordinator at the time
2/25
SCC - canceling classes for spring semester to allow student teaching
2/26
Teaching observed advisory lesson. Naming schools. Visiting p2 ELA to prep for lesson next week. Meetings with extracurricular and staff, lesson planning during prep and Saturday school?
3/1
In-person. Meeting with science teacher, writing science lesson, observing and working with small groups. Quiet mostly
3/2
Teaching same lesson, leading discussion of factors activity, book group meeting. Slightly more outgoing groups. Filler words, asking permission, answering questions vs letting students struggle. Book group on race
3/3
Observation lesson for ELA on revising stories, palindrome number activity
3/4
Observing, SCC
3/5
In-service day, math team collab, planning time
3/8
Spartan Center intro, positive and negative numbers desmos. Adjusting to new schedule (again), debriefing homework participation. Overview of the week in planners
3/9
Repeat with group B. They see what students the previous day responded.
3/10
Observation lesson in science on volcanoes, reading and discussion of textbook ch w KWL. Next lessons with adding with negative numbers, using real world examples
3/11
[Penultimate] SCC classes
3/12
Scale drawing lesson
3/15
Zoom to help at home, new student, discussion of how social distancing might evolve, subtracting w negatives, Mars rover
3/16
Same material as before with group B in person. Fire drill, book group
3/17
Using phet, a physics modeling tool, to review positive and negative numbers and absolute value. Special socks day for down syndrome awareness, Holocaust speaker over zoom
3/18
Final classes for SCC. not on zoom for the morning since the teacher had a sub.
3/19
Students set goals for the remainder of the semester. Phet lesson with morning classes who worked on their at-home material with the sub, art lesson with the afternoon who had the phet material yesterday.
3/22
Opposite numbers and absolute value, positives and negatives on number line; 7th grade multiplying with negatives. Submitting remaining competencies, revised teaching plan
3/23
Same with group B - solo teaching. strategies for engagement working on computers in person
3/24
Social media discussion. Picture day. Updating computers on at-home days. Revising lessons taught verification with new dates. Inequalities on number line, multiplication with negative numbers
3/25
Same with group B, solo teaching. Planning out April and into May.
3/26
3 act math lesson fast claps. Planning ELA, social studies, science lessons that remain. Planning edTPA four lesson unit
3/29
Checking progress on academic goals before end of quarter. 6th grade inequalities continued. 7th grade dividing with negative numbers. Observing ELA to prep for next week and science in order to teach it tomorrow. Writing lesson plans for edTPA
3/30
Same as before with group B, solo teaching. Teaching and writing lesson plans for science.
3/31
Hand out intro letter and video permission form. Point collector activity with positive and negative inequality statements in 6th grade. Review of rules for operations with negatives, practice games and short assessment in 7th grade. Observing ELA and science classes.
4/1
Repeat with group B.
4/2
3 Act Math lesson on the fast clapper, estimating and calculating unit rate. Science games with weathering/ erosion.
Spring break
Writing edtpa
4/12
6th plotting points on the coordinate plane, four quadrants, at-home work on paper; 7th solving two-step equations with one variable. Social Studies teaching intro lesson on ancient China. Sad news about a student in B-cohort. Collecting video permission slips. Writing lesson plan for Wed math observation.
4/13
Same with group B. Dentist appt in morning so only in school 11-3:30. Principal observation unannounced. SCC book club afternoon. Planning ELA for next week’s observation.
Updated on total hours so far: looks doable before the end of the year. From the evening hiring session, [elementary principal 1] lie to yourself; [elementary principal 2] you have to make the kids love you; [elementary principal 3] relationships most important, social justice focus; [first year elementary teacher] I cry a lot…
4/14
6th plotting points to move marble slides. Teaching p 1, observation in p 3. 7th solving one-step equations using problem string and phet application. Teaching ELA paragraph writing. The irony of sitting through ed classes where they tell us to involve students and all they do is talk at us. For 2 hours.
4/15
Same with group B. Coordinating with supervisor and ELA teacher to reschedule next week around her appointments.
4/16
3-Act math lesson on the airplane seats. Dealing with technical difficulties. Adjusting by using teams to share images with students.
4/19
Earth day door decoration in advisory. Plan for the week, new quarter starting. Distance on coordinate plane in 6th, one and two step equations in 7th
4/20
The same with group B. Teaching with whiteboards for students to practice. Put in request for rec letter from principals.
4/21
Assembling door decorations. Zombie apocalypse activity in 6th, with review of distance on the coordinate plane. Working through 2-step equations in 7th on whiteboards and online phet application. Teaching ELA for observation on A Wrinkle in Time, sending request for rec letter from supervisor.
4/22
Same with group B, only no observation today.
4/23
Earth Day door decoration judging. Airplane problem with B group. Discussing grading, assessment, and special education.
4/26
Coordinate grid battleship with 6th grade. Algebra bingo for 7th. Completing midterm form in preparation for Wed meeting. Coordinating with special education teachers.
4/27
Same with group B. SCC book group. Pizza from teacher discount. The options for students to do on their days off, the games students are and are not familiar with.
4/28
Continuing battleship games in 6th, Bingo in 7th, and gimkit games for both groups if time allowed. 6th grade coordinate grid assessment. Midterm meeting went great. No word on edtpa.
4/29
Same with group B. Making back-up copies for next two weeks.
4/30
Kahoot in advisory, four 4’s challenge to make 20, kahoot review of coordinates in 6th and two-step equations in 7th. Setting up teams assignments for next two weeks.
5/3
Student teaching. Intro to exponents in 6th, distributive property with variables in 7th. The story of the genie seemed engaging for them. Though not all had seen exponents before they could notice how they worked differently from ordinary multiplication. The desmos activity for grade 7 was less exciting but gave a clear overview of distribution and the two approaches to solving when dealing with it.
5/4
Same with group B. Filming in first period. Showing the visuals and board along with the students who signed the video release to help with writing about the lesson thereafter.
5/5
Observation by administrator that was scheduled got delayed; she was dealing with another issue. The final supervisor observation went well, though. Students worked in groups on exponent expressions in 6th. They worked with multiple ways of writing algebraic expressions in 7th. Helping after school with cross country meet. At last the governor signed into law the removal of the edTPA as a requirement. The director of ed school called it valuable, then [admitted? dismissed?] some of the prep on the program [to be] busy work.
5/6
Same with group B. Struggling with period 2 to show work. Observation by admin p 6. Moving students conversation they did much better. The second day of cross country.
5/7
Four 4’s activity challenging students to make 20 using all operations. Reluctant groups and individuals. Debrief p 5 for letter of rec rescheduled for admin to handle another issue, and tpep conversation. Final day of teacher appreciation week, challenges.
5/10
Student teaching group A. Debrief with admin.
5/11
Same with group B. First time having to send a student out for behavior all year.
5/12
Student teaching lesson four of the sequence, exponents in squares and cubes for 6th grade, multiple ways of expressing equations in 7th. Practice with finding volume and distributing.
5/13
Same with group B. Many students absent.
5/14
Final day of student teaching. Make 31 game with group A. Again, quite a few absent.
5/17-19
Special Ed. placement. Teaching math, reading and responding in English, drums, adaptive PE, paras, talking about ed programs. CAP tutoring, advising, PBIS, communication, organization, check in with SEL.
5/20-21, 24-25
Home with family. Videos 5/25 1 hr
5/26
Back in classes. 6th on one and more step equations in desmos, 7th angles and equations with them on polygraph guess who game and quiz
5/27
Same with group B
5/28
Three act Bucky the Badger pushups question, addition but also exponential growth
6/1
Back from long weekend, but every weekend is a long weekend for this group. 6th grade went into dividing with fractions, 7th reflecting on approaches to at-home practice. The polypad manipulatives aided presenting the division by fractions as a process of finding how many parts in a whole, and students had fun exploring all the different tools and activities on there. 7th were supervised on mathia and shared pros and cons of the program
6/2
Same with group A. Track meets cancelled due to heat. Notified of missing fingerprint info, calling SPS and OSPI to schedule updates to the clearance from 2019
6/3
Subbing. Last day group B. Final day solo teaching. Moving into the shortcut for dividing fractions with keep change flip song and fraction bars on polypad. Noting some algorithms that students either missed learning last year or need practice after the long interval: multiplying by fractions, converting to mixed numbers, simplifying fractions, long division. 7th reflect on paper practice and online games, which they seem to prefer overall to the guided approach of mathia
6/4
Final day group A. Final day student teaching. Same with group A. I will be back in to sub before the end of the year and may see students in the future depending on where we all end up. Much obliged to Salk and to Mr Anderson especially for accepting my placement so late in the game. Update fingerprints at district office; they should be visible on OSPI within a couple business days
A little scratch work
Total time required 540 hrs
Through q1-2 19
And since placement 285 more
Leaves 255
Working 8 hr every remaining 49 days yields 392 available hrs
Plus extra curricular, Sat?
But the long and short of it was, it all got done. Every i dotted and t crossed. And if I take the time now to relive it, however superficially, putting my paltry records and reflections out there like this, it's to recommit myself to the work I've envisioned: improving the enjoyment of learning. That can't be done, as public school goes, without refashioning in a drastic way the higher ed pipelines for teachers, along with our ongoing performance reviews, and what is called, with a harrowing lack of irony, professional development.
Like so much of the weakness inherent in systems governed abstractly by bureaucrats, rather than organically by colleagues in practice together, in some way it all comes down to the difficulty of doing what we say. A difficulty exacerbated by all the time and words we expend in the saying, in the documenting for the pleasure of the box-checkers, in the powerful temptation to treat what was originally meant to be helpful as so many hoops to jump through. But it's a difficulty rooted in the fact that we are all human. Through the haze of words and accretions of well-meaning standards, we have to deal with each other as people. Systems so large and burdensome as to obscure this, in effect dehumanizing us, must come under our scrutiny from time to time, tedious as that is, so we can dismantle and radically change them.
In the case of EWU and the T2T, the program promised individualized planning and discussions of actual requirements, as opposed to boilerplate verbal ones, and the rationale behind them--none of which ever happened. The mentor placement and observations only belatedly did, and barely in time. Messaging for everything from course organization to the purpose of meetings was inadequate, to the point that the head of the department called much of what was left by Spring quarter “busy work” in a more-than-usually-unprepared call to explain the dropping of the final project, the dreaded edTPA, by WA state government.For students of any age to do well, for them to like you, means being yourself--which parts of yourself, though? Is stubbornness and rebelliousness, thinking you know how a class should be taught because you know what good teaching looks like and what it feels like to learn, and if neither is evident here, you think you had better say so--is that part of yourself a pro or con, once you've bought into the pretension to be a teacher? And that thesis-level claim above, that we should be taking care of teachers the way we do students, starting from the relationship, the social and emotion as well as socio-economic aspects that unions usually deal with: is that infantilizing and counterproductive for the profession in its way?
As of now, that's about all I can say. After a lost year, I hope to begin recovering time for those who would go down the same path. Pushing back, because otherwise, the broken-down program lumbers along. In spite or because of accreditation reviews by the box-checkers' box-checkers--who can I talk to about that? I worry the EWU T2T will look fine on paper, but the actual experience for those in the program will go unnoticed. How poorly requirements are communicated. How limited their feedback and follow-through. The widespread sense of busy work. Inordinate requirements, the distance between what’s written and what we actually need. Working that out in real time, making it up as they go. Did someone mention that they revamped once already, a couple years ago? How? And if it were re-revamped, would that be according to some state penalty/mandate? Because of complaints or failures? To try to compete with the likes of Whitworth and Gonzaga? And if they could rework it properly, what would that look like? Personnel changes? Simply doing more of what they claim to be doing? A total overhaul of their methods? By any measure they need improvement.
And yet they, we, lumber along. Why change if there’s no consequences, no accountability? The logical endpoint of public schools underserving students all the way along comes full circle, when those students set themselves to become teachers in the ed program of the public university. Of course, if that were the full story, we'd be forever incapable of raising our students to the ever-falling standard. Thankfully there is something in us forever free of the dismal cycle.
We reflect our own education and cobble something together from our own slipshod experiences. A bummer of a chicken and egg. Breaking out of it would mean giving more students the individualized attention they need, modifying the traditional classroom thereby to make it more worthwhile for all--this is exactly what EWU says they’re doing in the program and doesn’t actually do, so far as I can see, but only pushes students through, modifying the requirements as needed until they pass. Something much closer to that vision is what we do get to do thanks to the size and structure of The Community School where I work now.
Still, people come to teaching wanting to change lives and the world. This activism inevitably means politics is already present in schools as in every other sphere. Polarization has come to the school boards as well as to every other office on the ballot. Is it the end of democracy, or is it the point of inflection at which some reversal is possible, the evidence of some ground already regained, as people start to care? How are we working to make it be the latter? As it is, the rhetoric of neutrality and objectivity is unconvincing, just as radicalism is far more rhetoric than reality. Schools and the military, the last bastions of our democratic institutions. What does that say about us?
So I've been writing and reading again. It may be unimaginative, but I propose let's learn from ancient Athens, Renaissance Italy, and Tocqueville's America, besides Frederick Douglass, WEB Du Bois, and The Dawn of Everything closer to the present. Starting with Meno and its chronological follow-ups and then a dialogue of choice? How better to rethink the work of schools from the ground up? Reading with parents, students, subs and staff, and then working up a dialogue of our own. Cultivating genius, as Gholdy Muhammad says.